Seven years after 9/11

(from Bobby)

At the time of 9/11, I was the religion editor for The Daily Oklahoman and wrote a weekly column for the religion section cover. This is the column that I wrote that week. With a bit more wisdom at age 40, I don't think that I'd write the same kind of self-aggrandizing piece today -- hopefully, I'd focus more on the real victims. But this is where I was at 33.

Tragedies leave none unchanged
The Daily Oklahoman - September 15, 2001
Author: Bobby Ross Jr .
I am a hard-nosed newspaperman. Therefore, tragedies do not affect me.

I can write about human suffering and death and go about my life unchanged.

When a single mom's federal office building explodes, I can interview two little boys who return home to an empty apartment. I can record their memories without shedding tears.

When tornadoes cut a deadly swath across our state, I can drive in the dark in the direction of the ambulance lights. I can scribble feverishly and feel no emotion as a father says of the daughter, grandson and friend he rushed to the hospital, "All I know is they were in the house that's gone."

And yes, when hijacked airplanes crash into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, when thousands of my fellow Americans die for absolutely no reason, I can operate on journalistic adrenaline.

I can call my friend Gary Woodbridge, whose wife, Ronota, died in the 1995 bombing, and beg him to tell me how he's feeling. I can go to prayer services and write compelling stories about prayer without letting down my guard long enough to pray myself.

I'm a hard-nosed newspaperman.

Therefore, tragedies do not affect me.

So why, I wonder, do I raise my voice and snap at a co-worker who stops by my desk Tuesday to ask an innocent question?

So why, I wonder, do I lose my temper over a trivial matter and fire off an angry e-mail to my boss Wednesday?

So why, I wonder, do I lie awake in the early morning hours of Wednesday and Thursday, staring at the horrible destruction, afraid to turn off the television for fear that I might miss something?

On Thursday, I wake up feeling a little better - numb but not so bitter or angry.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here even when I've been here," I tell my wife.

She nods in understanding, but concern rests heavy on her face.

"That's OK. I just don't need you to go into your own little zone for months like you did the last time," she says, obviously referring to the aftermath of the 1995 bombing. "We've got three kids now instead of just one."

Huh?

Her comment surprises me. I never realized the bombing affected me that greatly. In fact, I did not even cry until the second anniversary - the first major event related to that tragedy that I watched on television instead of joining my newsroom family in covering.

I'm a hard-nosed newspaperman, but I guess I'm also human. Believe it or not, that's a refreshing discovery to make.

Tragedies do affect me.

They affect all of us.

May God be with us and may God bless America.

Religion Editor Bobby Ross Jr . can be reached by e-mail at rross@oklahoman.com or by calling 475-3480.
Edition: CITY
Section: OKLAHOMA RELIGION
Page: 1-B
Column: SOUL SEARCHING
Index Terms: TERRORIST ATTACK ON AMERICA
Record Number: 2172424
Copyright 2001 Oklahoma Publishing Company